Dating 2

Dating lesson 2

When we think about Christian dating and what God expects of it, we often think about general rules such as “You can only date a Christian” or “You must not have sex before marriage”. These rules, by themselves cannot possibly serve as enough of a guideline for us to stick to. Being a Christian means that we have to glorify God in all areas of our lives, and this includes our relationship with the opposite sex. HOW?

Must commitment be the goal of a romantic relationship?

What about just having fun? We all want intimacy. It's a chance to be open, vulnerable and dependent on someone. There are many different kinds of intimate relationships in life. We can be intimate with our friends, family, but the most intimate one (other than our relationship with God) is the relationship between a husband and wife. They share not only their hearts but their bodies as well.

The common factor in all these relationships is trust. We trust ourselves with those who have proven themselves faithful. We're intimate with people who are committed to us. However, in most cases, if we start dating young, it only serves the “need” and “want”of the moment. We want to enjoy the benefit of physical and emotional intimacy without the responsibility of commitment. What we fail to see is that such intimacy is counterfeit.

The Joy of Intimacy is the Reward of Commitment

Pursuing intimacy without commitment awakens desires (both emotionally and physically) that neither person can justly meet. It's like arousing a hunger that we know we cannot satisfy. Intimacy without commitment contradicts what the Bible teaches about true love. Instead if being selfless, it is selfish.

While relationships with the opposite sex can make us feel great, we have no right asking for the other person's heart if we are not ready to consider marriage. Otherwise, we would simply be using that person to meet our short-term needs. We may enjoy it, but we wouldn't be truly loving them or putting their interests first. We should avoid romantic, one-on-one relationships until God tells us we are ready. That way, we will be able to serve those of the opposite gender as friends while keeping our focus on God. Until we can learn to love them selflessly that way, we are not ready to be in a relationship.

A time will come for us Christians to account to God for everything, including our actions and attitudes towards relationships. We should all seek to be pure and blameless in our thoughts and actions before Him.

Not dating doesn't mean that we should be cutting off all ties with the opposite sex. As Christians, we should be commited to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Although there are limits to these relationships, we cannot shirk our responsibility to care for, encourage and build each other up.

Caring for the opposite sex

Read John 4:10-11

God's love for us provides both the example and the power for us to love others. Our sins have been forgiven through Jesus' death and we can't live life the same way we did before. We are new creations, controlled by God's love instead of by what feels good.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15

As true Christians, we no longer live for ourselves but for God and for the good of others. Relationships with the opposite sex can no longer be about “having a good time” or “learning what I want in a relationship”. They should be about giving, not getting. Every relationship we have is an opportunity to love a person like God has loved us. We should be able to care for the person even when there is nothing in it for us. We should want to protect that person's purity and holiness because it pleases God.

1 Timothy 5:1-2 “[…] Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.